An important question...Do you think it is ok, as a christian woman, to show some cleavage?
I went shopping the other day, looking for a dress...sounds easy right? Not so when you are concerned about modesty. (I'm talking modesty not burka wearing) I did find a beautiful, very comfortable dress...I love it BUT it shows a little too much. I brought it home to show Calixto, he loved it too but also thought it too revealing, so back to the store it goes. On one hand I would love to keep it, it is flattering and I feel pretty in it but on the other hand I want to be careful with my clothing. I don't want to bring the wrong sort of attention to myself or cause someone's thoughts to be lustful. I understand men are responsible for their own thoughts but I don't want to incite a man to think lustfully. (I say this knowing I am not the epitome of modesty, but I try to be careful with my clothing purchases.) As we visit churches it seems that modesty is unfortunately not an issue at all to some women. It seems that we as the church-who should reflect Christ-are reflecting the world instead. It is hard enough at my age to find appropriate clothing I can't imagine being a teen?! Ok, so it is back to the mall for "mission impossible"!
What are your thoughts?
Here are some good resources on the subject
"The Look: Does God really care what I wear?" Nancy Leigh DeMoss
"Becoming a woman of Discretion" Nancy Leigh DeMoss
"Christian Modesty and The Public Undressing of America" Jeff Pollard
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9 comments:
would a camisole go under your dress to make it more modest??
It is hard to find a dress that is not open to the belly button..trying to find one for Brians wedding was hard.
Trust me I hear you. It's really hard to find clothing that are modest. It's very difficult for me since I'm Definatly not flat chested lol,to find something that isnt revealing. So with alot of my clothes i have to improvise,using cami's and some self tailoring. Lol.
I think modesty is very important and its a value that has been practically thrown out the window in these last several years. I dont like to "Blend" with the crowd anyway. :-)
~Elizabeth
I too was just saying that who ever makes these dresses must own stock in the camisole companies. I just got a few new dress in a new smaller size but I had to buy a camisole for every single one of them. I can't even begin to imagine wearing them without. The sad part is that I see women wearing them with out. It is very important to be modest. We are to be separate. Not to blend. You would be surprised at how a cami will look good under things. Good for you for taking it back and not settling.
Roni
i had such a hard time, especially with the reunion, trying to find something trendy and modest. when i did a google search for trendy modest clothes all i got was muslim outifts! i had to do the camisole thing, which i hate cause i'm already hot while nursing and adding another layer just makes it worse, but it has to be done. out of about 150 people i'd say 5 girls weren't showing cleavage.
i like nancy's hand test where she places her thumb on the indent of the neck and has her hand flat. if the shirt goes below her pinky, it's too low. especially as a short woman i can't leave much room since the guys eyes are looking from above and since i have to bend over so much for the kids.
i think most christian woman just get desensitized to what is and isn't modest. after seeing so many belly button necklines, we forget that just below the boobs is still too low even though it's better than the belly button one.
now the really bad part was when i was pregnant, ALL the magazine articles actually encourage pregnant woman to SHOW OFF their newfound cleavage!!!
the thing that has to happen is that someone needs to make a clothing line for woman, teens, and girls that looks cute, trendy, cool, fun, modest and yet not like a grandmother's outfit. It is possible. some stores are starting to catch on, like old navy has a great t-shirt that has a great neckline (not choking and not showing) and it's actually long enough to not show any tummy when raising your arms. of course that's a t-shirt and not a fancy dress. i say try a scarf or a shrug. that way you still feel pretty, you won't be immodest while out, and then you can remove the shrug when you're just around calixto since it's more than ok for him to notice what you've got!.
I think it's not just an issue of being respectful towards men but women as well. It's terribly uncomfortable when a women shows her stuff. I went to my sisters church one time and was shocked at the amount of cleavage on this one lady. I'm not talking just a little bit I'm talking some serious cleavage! My goodness. I'd be so embarrassed. When I put something questionable on I wonder if I'd be comfortable in it with my dad.
I wear camisoles alot too. I don't think it would look good to wear one under this dress. The problem is not just the cleavage, it is also form fitting, that's why the cami wouldn't work. I will continue to look for something pretty, modest and not frumpy! It is hard sometimes to stand on this issue when so many Christian friends and family dress immodestly. I feel badly for my husband who is bombarded with scantly clad women everywhere, including church and family gatherings.
Elizabeth...u'r too funny!! no, flat chested is not a discription of you ;)
Dana...I got a laugh out of your last line :)
I'm tearing my hair out over this very issue!!! I'm looking for a cute, stylish dress for Rachael's wedding that doesn't look frumpy and old, and I can't find it. Tom thinks it doesn't exist--only in my mind, and that maybe I should just wear the frumpy one. :) Sigh. I'm about ready to cave in. The only problem is it's way more than I want to spend on a dress I really don't like anyway! Modesty is so important. I don't know how women can expect to be taken seriously when they use their sexuality to gain power.
Why will you not answer your home phone or your cell phone. I am trying to get a hold of you woman!!! :)
Oh, I wish I had checked your blog when this was posted. This is such a great question! However, my problem hasn't been with cleavlage as much as it's been with clothes beeing too tight in the thighs!!! I wear two sizes. One for upstairs and one for down stairs. Therefore, I have to steer clear of dresses for the most part because either I fit around the hips and am swimming upstairs or the top fits perfect but the bottom is so tight I can't get it on!!! Then to make matters worse, i have a small waist so even with belts, the waist is always too big unless I take the time to put darts into my pants. Who has time for that?? Right now I've been filling out my pants because of gaining some weight recently. So now I'm feeling a little immodest until I can buy a new pair of pants or loose weight! A really good pair of pants that isn't going to show your underwear lines is so expensive too... not to mention hard to find. I wish I knew of some good tips for myself too! Oh the price we ladies pay to be modest, right? LOL! I really enjoyed reading everyones comments. I wish I could put something like this on our blog but I'd probablly get "0" comments except from my sister!! ha, ha. This was good.
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